Edgeworth's Living Nightmare
by infinitylexi
Summary: When Oldbag comes and stalks Edgeworth in his penthouse at 3 in the morning, Franziska luckily passes by... it'll be a long night.


****Edgeworth's Living Nightmare****

"What on Earth...?" Edgeworth woke to a loud "clank, clank" rapping on the window. It was about two-thirty in the morning. Edgeworth had been sleeping peacefully in his penthouse until that noise aroused him. "Edgey- poo, I'm here to see you!" Edgeworth knew exactly who that cackling voice belonged to. Wendy Oldbag.  
>Miles Edgeworth cursed the day Wendy Oldbag appeared into his life. She was like a disease that absolutely would never go away. Never. No matter what. He would bet on it that even if he had the bubonic plague, she would still come near. Oldbag would appear everywhere. Sometimes, when he opened his closet, he would think that Oldbag would pop out. It wasn't a pleasant thought...<p>

"Edgey-poo, don't deny your queen!" The old bat's voice reached his ears and knocked him out of his thoughts, which he preferred. At least inside his warn, comforting home, Oldbag could not disturb him.  
>Edgeworth walked with dignity (well, as much dignity as a man wearing pajamas could have). When he opened the window, nothing could prepare him for the sight he laid eyes on. How Oldbag managed to climb up to this eight-story building amazed him, but the fact that she was hanging by a rope tied to who knows what, really scared the daylights out of him. He threw the windows open and started shouting angrily. "Nnnggnooogh! Why are you hanging outside my house!" Wendy started blushing and clasping her hands together. "Oh Edgey-boy, I knew you thought of me. I was starting to think that I lost you to that whippersnapper, Franziska-bob, or something like that." What? Where had she gotten Franziska-bob? He was about to reason with Oldbag, when a thought just struck him in the head. "How do you even know where I live?" Edgeworth sputtered. Oldbag started blushing more and sweating. That was not a good sign. "Why, Edgey, it's not like I stalk you when you go home from work sometimes... heh heh..." Oldbag's voice drained off and she directed her gaze downwards. Edgeworth gave Oldbag one of his stern stares and looked up at the rope. It was tied to the top of the building. Miles Edgeworth had nothing to say to the crazy old bat, so instead slammed the window in her face. "EDGEY-POO!" she screeched, probably waking up the entire country.<br>"I will call the police!" he threatened from inside the house. Then he remembered something: technically, he was the police. But he couldn't exactly arrest her, because she was hanging from a most likely very fragile rope. If she fell, she would die, and he would be held responsible. No, he couldn't have that.  
>Edgeworth paced around his room, thinking of what exactly to do.<br>"Oh, Edgey-boy!" Oldbag called. "It's very cold out here and I seem to have forgotten my coat. Would you lend a lady a hand and let her in?" Edgeworth groaned and sat on his bed. Now she was blaming him for the cold weather, and she wanted to come in? Edgeworth couldn't have that, either. The thought of the woman snooping around his room would mentally scar him.  
>"Miss Oldbag, I highly recommend leaving to your home, and then you will have all your belongings with you!" Edgeworth still refused to open that window. "Oh, Edgey-poo, you are so smart! But I don't think that I could spend a moment away from you, dearie. Now if you'll just-" Oldbag adjusted the knob on the window and lost her grip on the rope. A high squeal echoed throughout the neighborhood, but it soon came to a halt just as Oldbag regained her grip on the rope. Edgeworth could do nothing but stare, horrified at the sight below him. What sane old woman would climb a rope and- oh never mind, it was Oldbag, after all.<br>Wendy Oldbag vs. Miles Edgeworth it seemed, but Edgeworth was losing against an old lady. She was knocking and pounding against the window, as if that would help it open.  
>Is it impossible to ask for a moment of peace? Edgeworth stared outside, and noticed the clouds were darkening. Rain? Really? At this moment? People were starting to stare and wonder why he didn't let his dear old grandmother inside. Edgeworth wouldn't bother shouting over to the neighboring window to explain, for explaining anything with the lying old bat would just cause a racket and, soon, a court debate.<br>Pat tat tat tat. And now, of all times, it was starting to rain. Now, Edgeworth was a man under the oath of God as a prosecutor. However, he never really paid much mind to God or the Bible, for so many horrible event had occurred in his life that it seemed impossible for there to be one.  
>Then again, it was his duty to help those in need. And even if that person is an old, psychotic stalker woman that wouldn't stop calling him some horrid nickname, it was still his duty. Before the horror of opening his window could occur, the most wonderful and he meant wonderful, thing that could possibly happen, happened.<br>Whoo-snap. The whip swung in the air like wind and cracked at the surface. Franziska von Karma smiled up at her brother. Or maybe it was a smirk. Whatever. If it was Franziska, it wasn't friendly.  
>"Hello, brother," she smirked. "I see you need my help again." It was plain luck Franziska carried a whip around with her, because initially, Franziska just came to retrieve some papers for her court trial. Franziska was both strong and brave, and probably could take down the old lady with no guilt. Her whip was just a bonus.<br>Edgeworth said something really smart like, "Nnnngh..." and gazed down at his little sister that didn't seem so little anymore. Franziska walked up to the building. "Now, would it be better if I came into your penthouse to deal with...that, or would it be better if I stayed down here to deal with the... item?" Franziska asked. Edgeworth wasn't exactly sure.  
>"Oh there's Franziska-bob!" Oldbag hissed from the rope, her red hair beads drooping with the rest of her wet hair. Franziska would've whipped her if she was any closer. "My name," Franziska said very calmly, "is Franziska von Karma. You will address me as nothing else." Oldbag rolled her eyes. How did that whipper-snapper find him? Even she knew it was three in the morning!<p>

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>Franziska did not appreciate having to help Miles Edgeworth at three in the morning. Obviously, the foolish fool didn't have enough common sense to figure out that most people sleep at this time. A crack of the whip should do him some justice. Franziska grabbed her whip off it's hook and headed to his penthouse. When she stepped out. She saw something hanging by a rope against the building. She squinted her eyes in the darkness and almost gasped out loud. Was that Oldbag? It wasn't long ago Franziska was unfortunate enough as to meet with this lady. Out of all the other foolishly foolish fools, she had to meet with the craziest of them all. Pure luck...<br>"Franziska-bob?" Did she just call me Franziska-bob? Franziska reached for her whip. "It seems, Miles Edgeworth, that as my subordinate, you need my help again." Franziska looked up at him knowingly. Edgeworth could never solve anything by himself. "Miles, you are not living up to the Von Karma name. Papa would not be happy, for you are lacking perfection."

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><br>Miles stared down at Franziska like she was mad. How can she only care for perfection at a time like this? "Franziska, will you kindly lend me a hand? Sister to brother? Just this once!" Miles looked down at the pondering Franziska. Oldbag started to swing furiously, probably attempting to kick down the window. For such an old woman, she sure doesn't give up. Miles sighed then realized that Oldbag started kicking and screaming again. "Edgey-poo, I love you so much. I may already be thirty, but I can still throw a kick." Franziska seemed amused at this. The woman claims to be thirty? What a poor liar! She carelessly twisted her whip and smirked up at Oldbag while she swung, kicking down the window. "NNNGHOOOH! What did you just do?" Miles stared at the broken remains of his old window. Oldbag dusted off her clothes and blushed at Edgeworth again. "Edgey, you look so handsome in your pajamas." Oldbag gushed. Edgeworth took a step back while Franziska crashed through the door with her whip. "Franzisko-bob?" "I am no Franzisko-bob, Ms. Oldbag, I am a von Karma. You will address me as nothing else." Franziska strided towards them with dignity, her hand grasping her whip powerfully. All Edgeworth could do was watch.

* * *

>Franziska frowned when she saw Oldbag crashing through that window. She finally decided it was time to help Miles. She stretched out her whip and walked into the building. It was like a hotel, except it was... chaotic. People were screaming at the manager about the terrible noise upstairs. Franziska walked passed them and took the elevator, taking her time.<br>When Franziska opened the door, she saw Oldbag blushing at the horrified Edgeworth. She pointed her whip at Oldbag. "Ms. Oldbag, I demand you get out of Miles Edgeworth's room... or would you rather want my whip to do the talking?" Oldbag disregarded Franziska's argument, and continued staring at Edgeworth in his pajamas, which, to Franziska was not a sight to be remembered. Franziska walked up to them, striking her whip on the wall, making Oldbag move closer to Edgeworth, who was creeping towards the wall. Edgeworth started to disentangle himself from Oldbag's wrinkly hands. Franziska crossed her arms and started rolling up her whip with amusement. She would have helped him, but it was too funny to put an end to. Franziska decided to help him. She couldn't just stay here all night. And she really needed those papers. Franziska sighed then started to whip the wall loudly. "Ms. Oldbag, leave Miles Edgeworth alone!" Oldbag obviously didn't hear her, and stared at Miles again.

* * *

><p>It would be a long night. That much was evident. Franziska had whipped Oldbag so many times that Edgeworth was almost positive that the old woman would pass out.<p>"Edgey boy, will you help a woma- ow! Will you hel-! Dearie, will you stop?" Oldbag snapped at Franziska, finally. "Ms. Oldbag, if you are displeased with what is happening, I highly suggest going home!" Franziska retaliated. Oldbag persisted on staying in Edgeworth's penthouse. Franziska groaned. What foolery was this?  
>Franziska's whip could be heard from China, that machine. Whip, whip, whip. Oldbag threatened to use her ray gun a couple of times, when Edgeworth pointed out that Oldbag had dropped her ray gun when climbing through his no longer existent window.<br>"Well, the ray gun was old anyway. Edgey, would you mind buying me a new one on our anniversary?" Edgeworth's face was a mask of pure horror and Franziska smirked. A wedding? Well, that was a new one.

* * *

><br>Egeworth froze in shock. Had she just said marriage? He turned around slowly and gave Oldbag a hard stare.

"What the he-?" Oldbag cut him off, "Mrs. Wendy Edgeworth. Mr. Oldbag. Mrs. Miles Edgeworth." Franziska just stared at her. Both sister and brother knew... that made absolutely no sense. Oldbag seemed completely oblivious to the fact and continued to mumble random names. This was utterly a waste of time.

"Miles Edgeworth, how can we... dispose of this... item?" Franziska turned her head to Edgeworth. He looked at her, his red eyes saying, "I don't care. Just dispose of her."

Oldbag babbled on and on about what a marriage they would have, and how exotic her dress would be! Edgeworth rolled his eyes and gave Franziska a pleading look.

* * *

><br>Franziska noticed Edgeworth was starting to beg with her now. Oldbag was babbling on about her dress that nobody really cared about. Franziska stretched her whip and flicked it at Oldbag again. Oldbag seemed to snap out of her daydream and starting yelling at Franziska.  
>"Whippersnappers have no respect for young ladies anymore. Franzisko-bob just cannot control her anger." Oldbag flung her arm around Edgeworth, apparently using him as a human shield. Just because Miles had had a chance to learn from the von Karma didn't mean she would spare him anything. Franziska just whipped harder, causing Edgeworth to send her daggers. Edgeworth groaned.<br>All Franziska could do was whip, and all Edgeworth could do was complain. Franziska was about to continue to whip Oldbag, when the manager of the hotel stormed in, followed by angry residents.  
>"What is the meaning of this?" he stammered, taking in the broken window and everyone inside. The old lady, the horrified man, and the whipping lady. Franziska turned around and looked at the manager. "This old lady has been harassing your guest. As a manager, you should have accompanied to his complaints, but yet, I, a von Karma, was forced to apprehend this excuse for a woman instead." The manager shook his head in daze and went to get Oldbag off Edgeworth.<br>"Edgey-poo, I will come back!" The manager dragged her out of the room, followed by all the guests. "Miles Edgeworth, you have not been perfect as a student of a von Karma should be." Franziska started coiling up her whip. "I will not stand for anything less then perfect and you have not exceeded my expectations as my subordinate." Miles simply shook off her words. "Thank you Franziska." And with that, Franziska strode out of the room, her whip clutched in her hand. And at last, Miles Edgeworth could get some sleep.  
>Of course, there was such thing as a tomorrow...<strong><strong>

**End.**

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Hope you all enjoyed me and QTrain's one-shot! Please comment and review! We read each one! :)<strong>


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